He Stayed

I have to share something so unrelated but such a victory! Our puppy slept through the NIGHT last night!!! Yea!!! We got a SECOND puppy a week ago today. She is stinkin’ cute but quite the pill at night. This week has been crazy chaotic with bringing her home, blogging, my hubby doing SO much for work, homeschooling and just life. So we needed this small victory, I woke up loving her a little more today. Wanna know a secret? I really do not like puppies hahahahaha. Like they are ADORBS, but they are mini little sharp teethed monsters. We already have a 6 month old pup and I decided that our life was not quite overwhelming enough, so in all craziness I got another 2 month old puppy. Thankfully I have a good man that supports my crazy, the longer we are married the more I love this imperfectly perfect man of mine.

This morning as I was rushing to take care of morning things before my twins woke up I began to reflect on a story of Jesus. It was the one with the woman caught in adultery and people wanting to stone her. She was broken and alone and scared. Though I have not been in her exact shoes of adultery I have felt broken and afraid. I have felt hated by fellow imperfect people, people that I trusted and loved, and I still feel disliked. Honestly what she did was no ones business, but yet they made it their place to ridicule her weakness. How much relief and humility she must have felt when the Savior looked at her and protected her. When he told those with no sin to cast the first stone, and no one did she was probably shocked. They walked away. I have heard this story so many times as I am sure others have too. This morning it occurred to me that I have missed a huge detail in this story. The accusers walked away, but Jesus stayed (a million heart emojis). Friends, he stayed. He did not leave her in her embarrassment, He did not leave her in her grief. He waited. She felt she had no one in that moment and he did not leave her. The crowd dispersed and Jesus stayed to let her feel the LOVE that many of us would not feel she deserved in that moment. Wow. Then he told her to go and sin no more. Her sin did not define her. Her sin had nothing to do with her worth. He would not let it become her identity.  He stayed.

What I learned from this was that I have known of “sins” that others are involved in and it is like they have a label on them in my eyes. It has been easy for me to think they are foolish or weak. I will admit that I have thought of myself as not as big of a sinner as them (disappointed in myself emoji here). It was other members that I thought this about and would compare myself to. I was comparing that I was doing better than them because they drank coffee and I didn’t. Or I was comparing myself thinking I would never be as good as someone because they were on a different higher level than me. But don’t worry, there was always someone I was doing better than that I could then compare myself to in order to feel better. That is really hard to confess and admit to. But it is not where I have been, it is where I am going that matters today. The old me would be so disappointed in me right now, slipping testimony, not repenting on my knees  for swearing, not dressing up to take the sacrament at home. But the broken me is proud of me. Trying to rebuild into a more Christlike minded person vs trying to be like Christ in my actions. I would not have thrown a stone at the woman, but I would not have stayed either. Today I would stay.

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