By This Shall Men Know

Well its been awhile since I’ve made a post. Today felt like a good day to do so!

I’ve been in therapy for anxiety related stuff with a remarkable therapist. He’s met needs of mine that I didn’t even know I had. I didn’t know I was looking for him, but God knew and put him in my life. The absolute Christ-like love and care that I have felt from my therapist is not something I knew existed.

In the various medical situations I’ve been in over the last 25 years, I have never truly felt like I was in loving hands. Capable hands? Yes. Good hands? Yes. But this is a first for loving hands.

As I sit here writing I have streams of tears running down my face with so much gratitude for the love God has shown me in leading me to this therapist. I am not even trying to stop the tears which is very unlike me, especially considering I am currently in public watching my kids at a sports camp. For years, tears have meant weakness; they’ve meant awkward moments. I am trying to change that for myself and my little ones.

         So here goes with the title of this post. “By this shall men know”……these are the words from a song that I’ve sung my twins since they were born. I am sure I sang it during their NICU stay. I have heard it and sang it many times throughout my life. Today I sang it, but it touched me differently this time. My sweet 8 year old son woke up earlier than his sister (like always) and came to cuddle me as he does most mornings. I’ve been in a lot of physical pain since yesterday so holding him on my lap was a bit trickier today. I got him situated and then began softly scratching his back. It felt natural to sing to him. A few songs started racing through my head and “Love one another” kept trumping any other song spinning around. Almost reluctantly I began singing it. It definitely was not my first choice because I sing it all the time. “As I have loved you, love one another. This new commandment, love one another”

……..I began to slow down as I sang the next words……

“by this shall men know ye are my disciple, IF ye have love one to another”.

Wow.

“By this shall men know ye are my disciple”. Guys, no one is going to know what God so desperately wants and needs them to know without the love of his disciples. His disciples are you and me.

I am one of Gods disciples, a somewhat broken one, but I’m learning that we are all a bit broken.

As I’ve repeated these words over and over this morning, “by this shall men know”, I’ve been deep in thought over what “this” is trying to say. Yes, “this” is the new commandment (greatest commandment) that the words are meaning. However what does “this” actually look like?

Everyone may have a different “this”, but for me “this” means minimizing judgement with the hope of being free from judging others. It means doing acts of kindness with letting go the expectation of thanks. It means releasing others and ourselves of the pain and trauma we’ve received by their hand. Sometimes others don’t know the trauma they’ve caused or even care what they’ve cause, “this” means letting God handle them and just working on you. “This” means having compassion towards them even when they’ve had none towards you while keeping yourself safe from further pain. “This” means striving for patience, tenderness, and understanding with our children when they are on our last nerve. “This” is seeing people for the good that is in them and letting them know they are seen and noticed by you. “This” means saying it, actually saying the words that may be difficult to say such as, “I love you, I appreciate you, you matter” regardless of their belief or faith. It means saying “I’m sorry” and striving to be gentle and loving in how we communicate. “This” means accepting the gift of a compliment. “This” equals humility, perhaps not showing off all your church knowledge and rather being open about how you’ve struggled. “This” is being an advocate for the said sinner as to see why they’ve struggled and are still equally as deserving of the same love we all want and need. “This” could be giving them or others who are broken a voice when they are in a part of their journey that they cannot find their own. “This” does not mean boasting on matters we’ve not experienced and patting ourselves on the back for not struggling in the ways others maybe have. “This” does not mean seeking praise, recognition or adoration from those we deem less educated, experienced or fulfilled as we may be. “This” does not mean worrying about the modesty of someone wearing garments or not, or if they even want to go to the temple. “This” means not speaking for our Heavenly Fathers judgement towards others, we do not have the same understanding or compassion as Him to make such a statement. “This” means having grace on ourselves as we strive to do better and recognize that we too are a sacred child of God. “This” means love without any conditions and even when it may be hard.

         “By this shall men know, ye are my disciple. IF ye have love one to another”. IF ye have love…….that little “IF” is a powerful one. That little “If” is the most important way to show our Lord and Savior that we are striving to be a sincere disciple of His.